In an amazing new study, it has been revealed that oral sex is a bigger cause of throat cancer than tobacco! WOW! How can this be when for 3 years, smoking has been the biggest killer of all known forms of life? In fact, it’s been blamed for everything except last summer’s infestation of arachnids in our homes!

Perhaps more tobacco fumes would have driven the little (and big) blighters out!

Linda Susan Boreman hit our screens in the early 70’s as Linda Lovelace in the hardcore film “Deep Throat“. Unamazingly it was a monster ‘box office’ success – to coin a phrase.

A very pretty young lady from the Bronx, she became an overnight sensation thanks to her prodigious efforts throughout the film.

Sadly, due to possible costs incurred by the NHS Linda, your film (and all copies) has been ordered captured, impounded and burnt

Sadly, she is no longer with us as she died in 2002 after being involved in a serious car accident, leaving her on a life support machine-which was eventually turned off, such were the colossal injuries she suffered. But the memories of that ‘porno’ film will live on forever.

However, that film started a new ‘beginning’, a new ‘openness’ about sexual behaviour in a society that had all but shaken off the post war severity of the “stiff upper lip old chap-carry on!” brigade. We’d had all the ‘flower-power’, Scot MacKenzie doing his San Francisco bit, and ‘free love’ etc for chilled out hippies (some are still ‘chilling out’!) and now Deep Throat was out there urging everyone to get ‘with it man’. The honourable art of “muff diving” had sincerely been established.

Perhaps, looking back, all was not as wonderful as we may have once thought, yet again by informing us that the human papilloma virus is now responsible for a considerable rise in the number of ‘potentially deadly oral cancers in the last few decades’.

So, there you go, all that pleasure years ago and all this misery now! What is totally amazing is the fact that oral sex has catapulted above smoking in the order of merit as far as causations are concerned.

Perhaps the government will act on this information and create thousands of “OSS’s“(Oral Sex Snoopers) with FPN’s at the ready-OMG! -now where, or to what would they affix said “Fixed Penalty Notices“?

Go to Story »